Anyways it's another sleepless night. I think I want to put this up on my Instagram but then the whole point of this was for me and not anyone else. Then again it shouldn't matter where I put it as long as I stay genuine but can I stay genuine if by the off chance someone does click on the link. Then it shouldn't fucking matter because I'm posting it for me and who cares who reads. It's a drag to say the least. Drive myself crazy playing these mind games with myself.
I should be tierd. Put some TLC to the house. Put somethings up, fixed somethings, reorganized the living room but hear I am with my incessant thoughts keeping me up.
I'm suppose to do something to get out of my comfort zone. Meet other people, do something that I would normally make an excuse for but I'm drawing a blank. It's weird you hate the isolation but you find yourself seeking it. I'm trying to write for the sake of writing not to prove anything but my mind always, always wonders how other will precieve it. Always for someone else never me. Even if I were to put my thoughts from pen to paper, I wonder what would happen if I were to die and someone finds it and wonders, "What the hell was wrong with this guy?". I don't know. I seek others approval and it's so damn aggravating.
One day I'll get out of it.
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