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Monday, August 17, 2020

letting go 8/17/2020

I dwell a lot of my time in the past which is ironic because I don't remember it too well...maybe that's why... Who knows.
It's not a healthy habit. It takes away from what's going on in the present and once again something I'm working on. You don't reach the level of depression I got to without learning some extremely unhealthy habits. Opinions are often conflicting. You want to be better but you don't want to do it alone. Yet you don't want to drag anyone in to the mess. Double yet isn't being healthy being able to connect with others. Life has always been a confusion. You want to think about the future but again you don't want to sit in it for too long because it takes away from the present. Yet how can you prepare yourself today without thinking about it. I guess that's the thing you need to balance. Look into the past just enough to learn from it and think about the future long enough to make a judgment call in what you are doing. Or do neither and just go with it. 
It's crazy how much I hate to be tied down to one specific thing yet I want the comment of a relationship. Do I want a relationship or do I just want to have the comfort of knowing I'm not alone. Idk how people do it... With any kind of relationship. How they can be so okay with only themselves. Or is that even a thing. 
How much is too much talking 
What do people even talk about 
Am I being too honest 
Too open
Too upfront 
Are not having Memes ok
Some Memes 
Lots of memes
Stay superficial
What is superficial 

I'm overthing it again. How do you simply move ahead. I don't think people realize it but they do move forward blindly and it has to be the best feeling in the world, to the point you don't think about it. 

"Ignorance is bless" never sounded so amazing

"For in much wisdom is much grief: and he that increaseth knowledge increaseth sorrow." -Ecclesiastes 1:18

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