it's Complicated 9/14/2020

Seeking happiness from outside in is a no go. As humans and with our reptile brains if we look outward for happiness you are never going to truly be happy. You reach the end goal and it's not what you thought and you'll look for happiness somewhere else. It's never enough. I wonder if it's the same looking to be happy from the inside. I mean what does it matter in or out. Does the brain know the difference. Or maybe it interprets it differently and it's not as damaging to your mental well being if you are happy with yourself. It's a thinker for sure.

Which kinda brings me to the point I'm trying to make. Im happy-ish. I guess you can't always be 100% happy but you can be better about the way you feel when things don't go the way you hope. In lamest terms I don't care. What I mean by that is that I'm not overly occupied by other people's reactions or opinions (or the lack of 🤣) I'm good with who I am. If people don't get it or me that's all right, it wasn't meant to be. I'm not going to try and change for other people. Yet... 

Idk I'm not completely satisfied with where I am right now. I want more and the things the way they are now isn't getting me there. Like I said complicated. Time to alter course a bit and see where it takes me.