Why is it so hard to imagine myself with someone. I am not
saying I am not worthy of anyone but just trying to imagine a relationship with
that person… It just doesn’t sit well. It’s hard to explain.
The lady’s That I see through dating apps are good, don’t
get me wrong. A lot of them are very beautiful and have great personalities
according to what they write, but in the end it’s just meh for me. I think it
might have to do with the fact that we share the best me that we can be on the
internet and for me it’s too much. It goes from someone whose human that isn’t
perfect to someone who is always doing something, looking their best and always
going. It’s exhausting. It could be that I don’t want to look and put myself
out there. I don’t know, I am over it and I am not. Maybe I just don’t want to
put in the work.
I need to get out more see people be closer to who they
really are in real life, public me isn’t quite the same as private me…. Just thinking
about it gets my anxiety going. I don’t know why I even ask people if they want
to hang out… spend time… what is the right way to say that. It is hard to focus
on anything. Mind wanders… thinking about work, finances, myself, relationships.
Maybe it’s an underlying problem. I just don’t know.
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