6/26/24 - Another Quick One

A little earlier than earlier than yesterday but still not before work. Third times the charm?
 

Real quick, I closed all my rings yesterday. First time I have been able to accomplish it since I started putting on the watch. My goal is to close the rings every day until my birthday. After that I hope it will become second nature and I have to be constantly aware of it. What helped a lot was walking during my lunch. I guess I will be making daily trips to the mall during the weekdays. 

I would like touch on the impulse subject when I have more time and I don't feel like I need to rush. Maybe it's better to these at the end of the day?

Oh! The internet was down at work when I cam in. Gave it the ye olde disconnect/connect the modem and the router and that did the trick. Ohh Spectrum never change...seriously, please do. 

<3 Alex

6/25/24 - One Month Away

I wanted to post before coming to work not during. Yes, sometimes I can be a time thief but I balance it by sometimes working off the clock, but I am pretty sure I lean more on wasting time than making up the time. Speaking of time my 32nd birthday is coming up in one month exactly today.

What comes with being 32... I'm not sure really. I feel like I have grown but at the same time I have people say girls will never take me serious and I play the victim. Plus my mom and I aren't in the best of places right now. I feel fine though, I tried to make up for my indiscretions and apologized. I haven't dwelt on it and taken it personally that they haven't accepted my apologies. I know an apology isn't going to make everything better but I am only human I am going to slip up. I reflected on what I did and I am going to try my best to try and not let it happen again. It's my impulse control, it always comes down to my impulse control. 

Right now my impulsivity is my biggest weakness as a person. It affects me in a lot of areas of my life. 

• Health
• Emotions
• Relations
• Financially 

I  can't really think of anything else but if these 4 things don't encompass a big part of what makes my life, I don't what else does. 

 

I'm wasting too much time, I need to get back to work. I will get into further detail about this later

 

<3 Alex

  

6/24/24 - Posting Daily

I am going to try and post daily if this is going to be in the morning or in the afternoon idk yet. I'm going to experiment and figure what works best for me. I never hear any feedback so I am assuming the numbers I get are random people so I might go more intimate until I am given a reason not too.

Until tomorrow.

New Year's Eve 2018

Hard to believe my one and only "normal relationship" ended over five years on New Year's Eve 2018. 

By normal I mean we dated, went out, stayed together, slept together, and so on and so forth. You know the normal dating stuff. My first relationship was more us going out a couple of times and things fizzling out. That and had no fucking idea what I was doing. The only other relationship that came close to being normal was my long distance relationship. It stayed most over the internet but the few days we spent together was some of the greatest days I had. Even if I was sick lol.

Outside of that the other relationships, in the literal sense of the word, were just people, can't even say girls for sure, manipulating me, and taking advantage of my trusting and naïve nature. Yes I am pissed I lost money but the thing that upsets me more is the time wasted and the lies. You trust this person and they use that to get richer and get ahead of you. That hurts so much.

 Funny enough this never went live. Thanks for the memories Lucy